Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize