I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
