I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
