They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
