Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
