please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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