I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Acid is not a monday night drug
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
