My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
