I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize