Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
