i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The power of my boobs compel you
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
