oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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