I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
