I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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