Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
