im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
