Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
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