I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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