Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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