batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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