How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize