spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
