Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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