girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
