what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
