i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
