no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
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Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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