morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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