Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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