So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
she woke up with a sticky ear
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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