garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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