and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
