I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
