I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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