Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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