Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
