That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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