Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize