im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
