i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
