Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
