i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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