Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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