I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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