call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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