I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize