So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
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Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
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