Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
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