SEEEEXXX PLEASE
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
