dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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