dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
