She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
