I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
