i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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