please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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