I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I've blown a few things in my day
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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