Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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