GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
