Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
