I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
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