And the cops told us we were all naked.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
