bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
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you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
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She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.