Sponge bath it is.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.