i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
