I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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