Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Someone signed my nipple.
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